Anonymous asked: (1) So lately I've been obsessing about losing control of my bladder, so I'm always aware of it and like, trying to keep control over my muscles and stuff. Today I was stepping out of the shower right over my dog's water bowl and really did have to pee, and for the briefest instant thought "so what if I pee in there", like for a split second I did have that intention, and let go of the 'over-control' that I had of my muscles. I'm pretty sure I didn't actually pee, but I'm terrified of 'what if',
Anonymous asked: (2) and why did I even have that intention in the first place? Like I'm always super-aware of my movements when I'm in one of my ocd-attacks and sometimes I make small 'bad' movements, like moving something dirty towards somebody's toothbrush or something, just cause I'm so aware of it. I know I'm not just 'testing myself', that it has to do with the spike itself. And like, I know I don't want to do that, but in the spikes I get these split-seconds where I want to give in. What does it mean?
What you’re describing is blind panic as a result of the anxiety you’re feeling. Increased anxiety leads to hypersensitivity which is why you’re so aware of every movement.
Trying to come up with a rebuttal for every point OCD makes is just going to get more points thrown your way. Those “so what” thoughts are intrusives showing themselves because you’re stressed from reacting to them already. You’re caving to the cycle and naturally that makes things worse rather than better. Just let them be there. No matter how bizarre or weird they are, no matter how much you want to analyse them, just distract yourself and compare how it goes in relation to when you analyse. You should find the thoughts go far quicker and they’re less disturbing.
Take a read of my How To on here regarding intrusives and get back to me after some practice. If you’re still struggling I’ll try think of some specified examples I can give as ERP/ACT to your scenario.
Anonymous asked: (1) I have a pretty good grasp at understanding my ocd except for one thing. There are times when my mind will be like: "don't do this or you'll get that dirty" but my body will go to do it almost instinctively. They are just little movements. I just had something dirty in my hand and all of a sudden I leaned towards it and stopped myself just in time and was like:
Anonymous asked: (2) "wtf, your face almost just touched that." and I don't get why I do it. It makes me so scared that I'm going to give in to the bigger things that my cod makes me scared of doing.
You may have been doing it to test yourself, then having second thoughts and misinterpreting your actions as the anxiety kicks in.
You can’t compare small actions like that to large scale fuck ups. There’s a massive difference. Touching something you perceive as dirty wouldn’t have severe consequences, nor would it be going against your core moral values. Anything that truly frightens you, goes against what you stand for and has big consequences is a different subject entirely.
Anonymous asked: Hey, I don't know if you can help me, but worth a try. My ocd has mainly been pure-o with intrusive thoughts of hurting others purposefully or accidentally. However, lately they've changed to fears I may begin self harming, or images of it I can't shake. I think about pulling eyelashes out for example, though I'd never do it. This results in a constant thinking of that area of my eye, and it feels almost like pressure and hyper-awareness of there...what is this?
The fact you suffer intrusive thoughts means an anxiety response kicks in. Your brain then flags that thought as important and as a result you continue to analyse it as it stays at the forefront. That’s why the thought won’t budge when you want it to go.
In regards to the eyes, there’s a link between OCD and hypersensitivity. I read that there’d been tests done as to the links of the two on a post on stuckinadoorway. The fact your fear focuses on your eyes means you may analyse your eye/eyelashes as a compulsion. That, after a while, is likely to be causing the pain.
You’re still suffering Harm-O, but about yourself now instead of others.