asker

cc-janeway asked: because many of my compulsions are internal and/or done secretly, I'm really struggling to convince my parents I have ocd. Because of this, I can't get treatment and I feel like I'm going to get worse and worse until I do. Do you have any advice for someone whose pure obsessional ocd is dragging her down.

If you search whatever theme you’re struggling with and/or the keywords of what’s causing you trouble, there should be a good few asks I’ve done that cover your topic.

In terms of telling your parents, the best thing to do is get some resources that sum up your situation, and have them with you when talking to them! Web pages are easy to get hold of and print out and the internet is getting better at explaining what Pure-O is.

Stay strong and keep me updated.

asker

Anonymous asked: ive had hocd for so long, and its gotten to the point where i dont care anymore, i dont have the anxiety, but i have the thoughts which still make me freak out, i cant make new friends or even hang out with old friends, how do i beat hocd?

You say you don’t care anymore but from the sounds of your actions towards friends it sounds like it is still a major issue. Not caring about your intrusives is good if it means you’re not giving in, paying them attention etc, but if you’re in a constant depressive state and are emotionally numbed then you might have depression as a knock on effect of your suffering. You beat HOCD through acceptance, perseverance and by never giving up. Through understanding your disorder, establishing the difference between you and intrusive thoughts and by living in the moment, you’ll recover. It’s not that black and white and it’s a long road but there’s this blog and plenty of non-professional as well as professional services that can help you. Forums were a big help to me when I didn’t use them compulsively. Stay strong and a Merry Christmas!

asker

Anonymous asked: Its me 22yr old. You need to relax, exercise and just go with it. Just accept its a part of you and go with it. Don't let it encompass everything you do and let it be all you think about. I used to google pure o daily and it only made me worse and even take on other peoples obsessions. I just think your not helping yourself with writing about it all the time and stuff. I was you a year ago. It's nice to help others and stuff but you are damaging yourself in the long term.You need to be distracte

I’ll reply in the second part. :)

asker

Anonymous asked: 'distracted from it. Since my counselling (psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and CBT) I am so much better. I also used to take Valerian (natural) to help too. Being hungover makes Pure O worse for me so I cut out drinking too. Not all the time but not regularly drinking anymore. I just wanted to give you some advice from someone who is further down the line with it than you are. Hope I can help you. I am having a bad day so I did google pure ocd and come across your blog. Its only made me worse :(

Sorry to hear the blog hasn’t helped you. I recently reblogged a post that links to a way of blocking out tags that trigger sufferers, so they can use that to prevent themselves from spiking.

That being said, I’ve got a few thoughts on your comments:

  • I’m a big fan of acceptance. I do it on a daily basis and as of right now I’m not spiking over anything. I’ve felt more dependant on others than I’d like but I think that’s general self-esteem issues more than anything else and I’m just letting the thoughts be there and relaxing.
  • Google is full of triggers and something I advise not to do unless it’s used for understanding, because compulsive checking makes it worse as you know. I don’t compulsively check myself and only use Google for coping mechanisms or non-compulsive interests.
  • It sounds odd, but I don’t mind spiking from the work I do on here. It’s healthy when used for exposure. Sufferers know they risk spiking from following but many have progressed from what I do on here and find it very helpful; if they didn’t then I wouldn’t because there’d be no point, haha!
  • Thanks for the advice. It means a lot. I’m not having a go by anything I’m saying here, just validating my reasons for why I do what I do. I guess everybody has different ways of dealing with things, but I think, feel and hope what I do on here is generally productive.

I hope you’re feeling better today.

asker

Anonymous asked: Do you distract yourself when you feel an intrusive thought coming on? Is that a good thing to do?

It works wonders when you’re not trying to force yourself to stop ruminating. If you feel like you’re going to ruminate and you do something to take your mind off of it though, then it’s fine, but it needs to be done naturally.

I go for walks, play video games, watch T.V. and spend time with friends. All of them help me to take my mind off things, but there’s times where I’ve tried to stop myself ruminating and I’m so focused on doing what I’m doing to not ruminate that I end up ruminating more, and not actually enjoying what I’m doing.

Overall though, it is a good thing to do. It’s important to keep functioning when intrusives are trying to get the better of you.

OCD Help (longlivemagic):

so lately, I’ve been contemplating self-harming myself again, or suicide. My OCD’s been acting up again. It’s been close to a year since my breakdown, and I’ve been good. I was able to graduate high school, get into a good college. Now I feel like under every achievement, or no matter how normal my life has been, the OCD undercurrents are still haunting me. I still have difficulty doing things because of OCD, and I just want it to stop. I don’t know how to make it stop. I keep thinking hurting myself is the only way to feel better, because I really just want it to end. Please please help.

longlivemagic

Hey llm!

It sounds to me like you’re dealing with more than just OCD here. There’s a fantastic blog I follow called believeinrecovery that’s brilliant for all forms of recovery including self-harm. I suggest following that as well as leaving an ask there about other self-harm recovery blogs so that you can get the help you need with it, as I’ve never had experiences with it myself. It also may be worth finding out if you’re suffering from depression too as it sounds like your moods reach dangerously low levels at times.

As for OCD, I know what a debilitating disorder this can be, but don’t let intrusives undermine your achievements. It’s brilliant that you’ve graduated regardless of what OCD tells you. Any failure just reinforces the fact that you’re human and you can use your failures to motivate yourself to come out on top next time. Give my page on how to face intrusive thoughts a read and then get back to me with what part of it you struggle with, and I’ll try to tailor some examples to fit your scenario.

Hurting yourself will not make you feel any better. That’s a self-destructive compulsion and a result of believing lies that you’re being fed. You are worth so much more. I can guarantee you that much.

- Nathan

Resistance or not?

Hi, 

I’ve struggled with OCD for the majority of my life suffering various forms of Pure O, Confessional OCD, HOCD and I also think I suffer from GAD. It was only 2 years ago I realised I had the disorder and it’s only been a few months since I have been less reactive with the thoughts. I follow the “just let the thoughts be there process” and watch the anxiety fade this has worked to an extent but recently i’ve felt a bit of a relapse in that my thoughts seem to be answering themselves and I’m not sure whether these are compulsions or just thoughts on thoughts but the frequency of them has been pretty high during the past week? Have you or anyone else on here experienced a similar situation on the road to recovery and how long did it take you to recover from OCD so it is at a manageable level on a consistent basis?

- DL

Hi DL!

The ask I’ve just answered covered the exact same thing. Basically it’s natural that we ruminate instinctively because our minds are so used to doing it, but distraction techniques work wonders when not used as compulsions. Basically go out with your friends or do something you enjoy when OCD acts up and you’ll forget you’ve been ruminating in no time.

I can’t remember how long it took me to get to a ‘manageable’ level but if I’m honest I deal with relapses even now. Remission depends on the level of dedication to coping mechanisms and calming the anxiety response, so it varies from individual to individual. Stress hinders recovery but positive emotions really help, so there’s factors either way too. I’d got it fully under control within a year but I struggle when in relationships because that’s when my thoughts go up in intensity and frequency. I’m working on calming the emotional response for that one soon!

- Nathan

asker

Anonymous asked: One thing Im beginning to notice about myself is that my moods seem to change rapidly. For example, one week, Ill be happy and feel like my HOCD is gone and Ill be extremely aware of all the girls in my class, but a week later, ill be depressed and forget that I liked any girls to begin with and feel that I could be gay cuz of it. It sucks so much cuz I never know how ill feel. Does this sound like OCDepression or someting else. I havent seen a professional but some say i sound bipolar. :( Thnx

Bipolar isn’t really based on reasons for being up and down; if your moods are linked to how good/bad your OCD is then you won’t be bipolar but are most likely fatigued and stressed because it’s hard to deal with, especially if you’re keeping it all inside. However if your moods change and don’t seem to be based off anything, then you could be and it’s worth at the very least checking out as co-morbidity is common with OCD.

Read up on the page I’ve got regarding dealing with intrusive thoughts. It’s important to put coping mechanisms in place even when you’re demotivated because when if gain the advantage again even temporarily it’ll be the boost you need to get back in control.

Stay strong and keep me updated.

- Nathan

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Anonymous asked: As someone with harmed based obsessions, when I'm spiking, I often go through a list of memories/emotions/thoughts that prove that I am not some psychotic killer. I prove that I am not this person. But then (from time to time) I will think "what if I really am this person and I am just very good at lying to myself". It's so frustrating.When I'm not spiking it is so obvious that I am freaking out for no reason. But when I am spiking, I feel like I go round and round in circles with myself.

Those memories, emotions and thoughts are compulsions that provide temporary relief but long term are extremely detrimental to you.

The less you perform those compulsions, the less daunting spikes will be long term and that means you’ll have more moments where you clearly see you are not a bad person.

It’s tough and takes a lot of work but think of the anxiety as a bully. The less of a reaction you give the bully the less it’ll try and wind you up. The bully will eventually stop being a nuisance.

The thoughts aren’t the issue, but the reaction we give to them. Stop reacting through ERP and ACT, and they’ll get the message to stop pestering you. :)

- Nathan

asker

Anonymous asked: How do you stop needing to reassure your thinking and your body?

By not giving in to the anxiety. Read my page on how to overcome intrusive thoughts, and try putting some of those coping mechanisms into place. The less you cave to the anxiety, the more your mind and body will calm down as you’ll be sending a message that the thoughts aren’t a threat. They’ll send the message less, and you’ll feel less anxious as a result.

- Nathan